Episode 6: Are You So Afraid of Disappointment That You’re Stealing Today’s Joy?

What if the thing keeping you stuck in overthinking, worrying, and planning for every possible outcome isn’t actually a need for more control?

What if you’re just really freaking afraid of being disappointed?

In this episode, I’m unpacking one of my own biggest patterns: trying to protect myself from the “drop” between what I hope will happen and what actually happens.

For me, that can look like overthinking every possible scenario, creating backup plans for the backup plans, or refusing to let myself get too excited about something because some part of me believes that if I don’t get my hopes up, it won’t hurt as badly if things don’t work out.

But there’s a cost to that strategy.

When we spend today worrying about what might happen tomorrow, we can end up stealing the joy, ease, peace, and fulfillment available to us right now.

And sometimes, it’s not even the disappointment itself that we’re afraid of. It’s what we know we’ll make that disappointment mean about us.

See? You weren’t good enough.

You never should have tried.

Good things don’t happen to you.

No one wants what you have to offer.

When disappointment becomes evidence for the shitty things you already believe about yourself, of course your brain is going to do everything it can to avoid it.

In this episode, I’m talking about how we begin breaking that pattern.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why I realized I don’t just fear disappointment, I fear the drop between expectation and reality
How my dad’s unexpected passing helped shape my own desire to avoid being blindsided
Why overthinking and overplanning can feel protective, even when they’re creating more stress
How worrying about tomorrow can steal the joy that’s available today
The difference between using disappointment as data and using it as a weapon against yourself
Why disappointment feels even heavier when your enoughness, confidence, happiness, or pride is riding on the outcome
How the stories you tell yourself after something doesn’t work out can affect your mood, relationships, health, habits, and ability to be present
Questions to help you understand what specifically feels so uncomfortable about disappointment for you
How to support the part of you that’s desperately trying to protect you from uncomfortable emotions
Why this pattern may be shining a light on a deeper question: What are you waiting to achieve before you finally allow yourself to feel enough, proud, confident, happy, or at peace?

Questions to sit with:

What am I afraid I’ll make it mean about me if this doesn’t work out?

Am I allowing myself to be excited about what could go right, or am I intentionally keeping myself worried so the disappointment won’t feel as big?

Am I using disappointing outcomes as information and data, or as evidence against myself?

What am I waiting to achieve, receive, or become before I finally give myself permission to feel enough, proud, confident, joyful, or at peace?

And most importantly:

Is it fundamentally true that I need that thing in order to feel the way I’m waiting to feel?

You’re allowed to care deeply about something. You’re allowed to be disappointed when something you wanted doesn’t happen.

But you don’t have to spend today rehearsing tomorrow’s disappointment in an attempt to protect yourself from a feeling you may never even have to experience.

Cheers to never settling.

Episode 6: Are You So Afraid of Disappointment That You’re Stealing Today’s Joy?